One Desperate Voice

Yesterday my friend sent me this video clip entitled "emotional britney fan," (I've posted the link for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure) Wonderful, I thought. Something to make me feel better about myself. About forty seconds into the clip, I stopped laughing hysterically at the spectacle of a flaming 'pretty boy' with long, blonde locks, which he tore at dramatically as he delivered an emotionally furious plea to the press to stop hounding Britney Spears, while holding up a sheet for a makeshift background (unsucessfully.) The responses on Gawker were on point, and I had every reason to enjoy them. This guy looked like a trainwreck, along the lines of a delusional American Idol wannabe, Miss Teen South Carolina, or, indeed, Britney Spears herself. One of the comments on Gawker simply said, "his name is Chris Crocker, and he's pissed."

But something made me pause the video, (a mixture of shock and pity, perhaps). His emotional honesty was alarming. Uncomfortable, even. Assuming he was the genuine article, of course. I was skeptical, but when I researched him, I found him to be quite a celebrity on YouTube. One of his video clips has over one million hits. Most of his clips were messages to his 'haters', with the same emotionally-charged, confessional tone. Agressive, angry, and still very poignant.
I read an interview with Chris in The Stranger (a decent newspaper from my hometown, Seattle). Chris is an internet god, (or maybe he'd prefer the term 'goddess'?) but an outcast in his intolerant Southern town. He lives a Napoleon Dynamite-like existence with his religious grandparents, who homeschooled him. This 19 year-old boy has haters, real ones. He has been ostracized his entire life.

Watching his videos after reading about him, I was struck by the urgency in his voice, it was almost Cassandra-like. There was something so bald-faced about his manner; he was hyperbolic, dramatic, yet devoid of theatricality. And isolated. Isn't there something a bit Rousseauian here? Chris lives both inside himself and outside himself, simultaneously an outcast of 'real' society and a celebrity of a much larger, virtual society. In light of who he is, it's not then so strange to me that Chris Crocker would come to the defense of Britney Spears; both underdogs, in their own strange ways. And in the future, I might think twice before mocking Star-worship, reflecting that people are so antisocial these days, sometimes the only love you can find is in a pop song sung by a doped-up, burned out twenty-five year old teenager who seems barely conscious of the fact that she is responsible for two infant children.


here is the link for the video...
http://gawker.com/news/the-marketplace-of-ideas/emotional-fan-defends-britney-spears-298684.php


here's the article from the stranger...

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=232684

and finally, if you're interested, his other videos on youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/user/itschriscrocker